Manifested Destiny

In 1989, I heard a voice that was not mine. It was in my head and in my feelings. I could see a Black man within me. I was only 21, but something felt wrong; I had never experienced anything like this before. My spirit and soul were in conflict. This was the first time I realized something was affecting my spirituality. It felt like someone was wiping their shoes on my soul. I had just left the Army.

At that time, President George Bush Sr. was in office. He was respected as a war pilot and was once the head of the CIA. While I was in Sierra Vista, Arizona, I felt a surge of something unexpected. It was in the background, unseen but present. There was a series of calendar endings over about seven years.

One day, two Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on my door. They wanted me to buy a Bible and asked me questions. I didn’t have much money, but they sold it to me for a low price, and I was happy. I asked them if it was true that Satan rules the world, and they said yes. I expected a hard response, but they were nice. I paid two dollars and received the Bible, a good English translation, and began reading it.

As I read, it felt like the Bible was speaking to me. It asked if I wanted to be a prophet, and I felt drawn to that idea. Shortly after, I felt a shift in myself. I kept reading, trying to understand why God was speaking to me through an ancient text. The feeling grew stronger, so I put the Bible down, packed some clothes, and donated it to a thrift store. I loved that little Bible because it was a good translation, but I picked up another, a large King James Version, which was much harder to read.

I needed answers about my situation. At one point, President Bush Sr. announced he could only be the one to bring a child into the presidency. I felt a spirit in me during that time but didn’t realize it until he said that on TV. I reacted by saying something like “bullshit,” and when I did, President Bush seemed to look at me strangely, which scared me. I stopped watching any shows or news about presidents after that, even historical ones.

I felt that a spiritual force had come down over me in Sierra Vista. I witnessed changes, such as houses and parts of condominiums disappearing. I was in a difficult place in my life, feeling a bit crazed and thought I had moved beyond a point of no return.

One night, I listened to a song that said it would be a special night. I got into a discussion with friends about Jesus, and I felt something change. I was led to drink water that tasted like oil or poison and I did it because the song told me to. I seemed to turn back time by about 15 minutes; I knew I was doing something powerful but didn’t fully comprehend it.

I envisioned a young man in my mind who was bracing for impact, instructing me to raise my hands in preparation. I did this, feeling something significant beginning. I realized that I was part of something bigger, linked to the lineage of Abraham, whom I felt had been wronged.

I went outside, moved my hand from east to west, and then went back inside. All the stars aligned in a single line, and I knew that it had to be God. I felt I had reinvented mental telepathy. I had broken the first seal, though it appeared sealed again. I realized I was connected to the “devil child,” who is my daughter, and felt I had been resurrected as Jesus Christ, even though I didn’t know who I was at that time.

I asked my wife, "Who am I?" I went outside, denied being Jesus multiple times, and then, at the moment of despair, accepted that I was Jesus. This affirmation somehow helped. There were times I asked for signs. Once, I noticed a hurricane in the Gulf and dared it to stop; it did for six hours, then resumed.

This felt surreal, like legends of Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan, and I began to think deeply about these connections. I had a hard time trusting anyone but felt I could trust the government. I became paranoid and distanced myself from others, feeling like a target. I encountered strange occurrences, like seeing ghostly figures during arguments with my wife and experiencing odd behavior from household devices.

These strange events escalated. I saw people act like lizards and had encounters with well-known figures on TV. I had never practiced magic or witchcraft but felt like God was teaching me about these things. As a child, I displayed unusual perceptive abilities, such as correctly picking numbers for my mother at bingo.

I learned about the signs surrounding me, such as crickets stopping their chirping, which our family believed foretold sickness or death. I kept a record of these occurrences, believing they were tied to prophecy. I once felt certain I would die at 56, which frightened me. I tried to find someone else to handle the presidency, confused about how things worked.

At times, I felt a connection with President Obama, as if we were in sync. I sensed we shared similar experiences, having walked through spiritual doors and completed significant tasks. I witnessed how presidents operated with divine guidance, and each seemed to have their unique role.

I recall moments of awe with President Clinton's wife, working alongside Native Americans, learning and collaborating on meaningful projects. Over time, I began to understand deeper truths about the presidency's relationship with God.

I felt impacted by past experiences, including having spent time in prison, which aligned with biblical predictions. The people from my past, who once knew I was destined for greatness, turned against me. They worked to undermine me despite our shared history. I experienced injustice, seemingly orchestrated by those who wanted to keep me down. Through all of this, I leaned into spirituality and the guidance of God to maintain my sanity and find peace amid adversity.